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tmcgOur Krav Maga yellow-belt test has finally been scheduled. September 26th.
I want that belt. I'm prepared. I can do everything on the requirements list except for breaking a headlock, and the instructor says that it's only after passing the yellow-belt test that most people really "get" how the headlock-release works, even if they can go through the motions well enough to prove they know how to do it. I'm out of shape, after a week spent mostly sitting around hotel rooms and airports, but I have a time to get back in form and I've been working out pretty hard since I got home.
What it comes down to is a question of nerves. Until we had a date set, I was calm and energized at the prospect of testing. I've played complex musical compositions in front of the most critical audiences, I thought. I've spoken ad lib on the most intimidating convention panels. I gave a best-man speech at a wedding. I know from terror. This is nothing.
But now there's a specific day on which to focus, and wouldn't you know it, here come the giant mutant butterflies. It's not quite stagefright and it's not quite test anxiety. Whole new animal. Well, I keep claiming to embrace new experiences....
The question is how to approach the mental psych-out. The canny instructor wrote, as an aside in an email to us, "(and you should PLAN on passing!)"--which means that my high-school method of wailing "I'm going to fail I'm going to fail!" won't work. (I think it gave me permission to fail, defusing self-inflicted pressure so that I could function while keeping the adrenaline ramped up.) But I'm afraid to want it too much; saying "IF I pass" gives me an out, so that embarrassment and disappointment won't kill me if I don't...and I remember taking a huge spill in a softball game once because I put my entire being into beating the throw to first base. There's a fine line between being determined to succeed and tripping over your own wild desperation.
The redeeming factor here is that you get points for aggression in the test, and adrenaline converts more easily into aggression than into calm reasoned panel discussion or controlled, highly technical musical performance (or accurate regurgitation of classroom material). My favorite part of class is stress drills; I want more stress, I want to be tested harder, I want to prove myself and earn that payback of improved reaction speed and effectiveness.
If I can take that attitude with me into the promotion test, I think I'll be okay.
In the meantime, well, the best cure for nerves is to practice whatever it is you're going to have to do....
I want that belt. I'm prepared. I can do everything on the requirements list except for breaking a headlock, and the instructor says that it's only after passing the yellow-belt test that most people really "get" how the headlock-release works, even if they can go through the motions well enough to prove they know how to do it. I'm out of shape, after a week spent mostly sitting around hotel rooms and airports, but I have a time to get back in form and I've been working out pretty hard since I got home.
What it comes down to is a question of nerves. Until we had a date set, I was calm and energized at the prospect of testing. I've played complex musical compositions in front of the most critical audiences, I thought. I've spoken ad lib on the most intimidating convention panels. I gave a best-man speech at a wedding. I know from terror. This is nothing.
But now there's a specific day on which to focus, and wouldn't you know it, here come the giant mutant butterflies. It's not quite stagefright and it's not quite test anxiety. Whole new animal. Well, I keep claiming to embrace new experiences....
The question is how to approach the mental psych-out. The canny instructor wrote, as an aside in an email to us, "(and you should PLAN on passing!)"--which means that my high-school method of wailing "I'm going to fail I'm going to fail!" won't work. (I think it gave me permission to fail, defusing self-inflicted pressure so that I could function while keeping the adrenaline ramped up.) But I'm afraid to want it too much; saying "IF I pass" gives me an out, so that embarrassment and disappointment won't kill me if I don't...and I remember taking a huge spill in a softball game once because I put my entire being into beating the throw to first base. There's a fine line between being determined to succeed and tripping over your own wild desperation.
The redeeming factor here is that you get points for aggression in the test, and adrenaline converts more easily into aggression than into calm reasoned panel discussion or controlled, highly technical musical performance (or accurate regurgitation of classroom material). My favorite part of class is stress drills; I want more stress, I want to be tested harder, I want to prove myself and earn that payback of improved reaction speed and effectiveness.
If I can take that attitude with me into the promotion test, I think I'll be okay.
In the meantime, well, the best cure for nerves is to practice whatever it is you're going to have to do....
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no subject
Date: 2002-09-07 02:30 pm (UTC)Good luck. Don't break a leg :-)
no subject
Date: 2002-09-09 04:16 am (UTC)I promise to use the power of the stickpin only for good.